I open my blog with this post since awakening empathy and generating positive connections between people is what moves me. Empathy is the ability to understand and feel what another person experiences, it is also the will to help and focus on what unites us and not what separates us. It is based on our emotional capacity, something key to human communication. We are social animals, we are born with the ability to connect with others, to learn from observation, to be moved and excited. And we must take care of this important natural ability so that it doesn’t wilt over time.
Stress, individualism and even the bubble filter of social networks lead us to self-absorption. To the selfie society. To the exclusion of the other and of oneself. Connecting to avoid alienating ourselves as people is key. Connect with ourselves and our environment. Rediscover the social animal that we carry within us, the eternal gatherings, true friendship, genuine altruism. Surely, if we think about the positive connections in our lives, those memories are learning, emotions and feelings. Empathy helps us to feed and open the doors to these experiences. Empathy is the only competence that Artificial Intelligence cannot learn, it is our human essence.
And you will be wondering, how can we develop empathy? Here are five tricks to do so:
- The first is to observe and listen. If we rush to speak, if we finish other people’s sentences, if we allow our prejudices to not let us read the signs clearly, we are sabotaging our empathic capacity. To understand and connect with the feelings of those around us, we need all our senses to be activated. The information is there, if we are willing and capable of seeing, feeling and hearing…
- The second, is to adapt. We must modulate our message, tone of voice and even body posture to the person/s with whom we are talking. Generating verbal and non-verbal synchrony brings us closer.
- The third is to include. Using a language that does not create polarities (always-never), that does not force us to choose (black or white), that does not generate comparisons (it is the best) and that speaks positively is key to avoid exclusions and to generate empathy. The walls – real and metaphorical – harm both sides. So create bridges.
- The fourth, humility. Understand that your truth is a possibility. That there are no unique truths. That each person has their own. Without understanding that the same story can have two or more visions, we can never convince other to listen and value ours. And, worst of all, we deny ourselves the possibility of learning from others.
- The fifth is your will. It’s not just about being able to be empathetic – every person born healthy has this capacity – but about wanting to be so. Encourage our more supportive and open self, as well as postpone or even avoid judgment and labels.
If we want to change the world, let’s start with ourselves. Create positive connections. Empathy allows us to understand, influence, cooperate, negotiate and generate action. Without empathy we will never be agents of change, leaders, partners, friends or real leaders. It is key to nurture our ability to understand and connect with others. In a hyperconnected world, don’t disconnect from yourself and your surroundings.
